Hopeful MD: Done.

I’m done. Med school that is. I finished on Friday. It’s funny because when I returned that evening from Comox and came into my apartment, rather than feeling elated, I felt…a bit glum. I love my little Victoria apartment (it’s beautiful and I’ve had many happy times here) and it’s been so lovely to be surrounded by good friends & family for the last 4 years. It just hit me on Friday that I’m leaving so many things (and people) I love to go to a new city, province, university, hospital system, to start again. For 2 years anyway. It’s just a bit sad. And I know that I will enjoy it, have fun, learn a ton and be happy with the change once things get established AND that if I’d wanted to, I very likely could have stayed here for more of the same but I didn’t want that. I know that I thrive on change, preferably when I’m in control of it. But on Friday night, until I switched into high gear of organizing/being busy on Saturday afternoon, I had a few moments of sadness. Perhaps it’s just like when you’re sad that a really good book has come to an end and you almost don’t want to take a chance on another book, in case it’s not as good. That’s how I feel. The last book was really quite good. But happily, it seems that each book is getting better and better with time. So that bodes well for the next one. We’ll see. Fingers crossed.

Friday was my last day in Comox doing an Obs/Gyne rotation. I had a good time there and the team was very generous in not making me (or guilting me) do call shifts so I had lots of good sleeps to boot! The doctors I worked with were great & fun and I did learn quite a bit from them, including that I’m happy to not be doing a narrow specialty with the same complaints day after day. The patients are definitely what keeps in interesting though as you definitely get different personalities, etc. It’s interesting to have developed over the last few years, a bit of a gestalt for when someone has a mood disorder or something, in part based on how they make YOU feel. I came out of a room the other day and said to the doctor I was working with that the patient had a bit of the Eeyore syndrome (if you know Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh you’ll know the defeated tone of voice of which I was referring to). After we talked to her, he agreed and said she’d be at risk for postpartum depression after she has her baby (if she’s not already depressed, which we didn’t get into during this visit).

I would say that the highlight (hands down) of my time in Comox was working with a doctor from Newfoundland. I didn’t work with her very much but I had such a good time being around her and getting a glimpse of what it would be like to practice medicine in St. John’s with the lingo/sayings and the sense of humour that flies around. It made my heart ache for Newfoundland a little bit. Like the time she came out of a patient room to exclaim in frustration, “Oh Christ on a chariot!”. I couldn’t contain my giggling and told her I hadn’t heard that one before, just “Jesus, Mary & Joseph”. But then again, she’s from around the bay so perhaps that’s a saying where she’s from. J It made my day, nonetheless. And of course, like a good Newfoundlander, she laughed at herself too.

I saw quite a few patients that were over 40 and interested in having babies. Yikes. It certainly reminded me that it’s not easy to have a baby over 40 and near impossible (for many) when you near your mid-40’s. It’s hard to have your biological clock ticking loudly in your ear for a month and at least not notice it. I haven’t decided if I find the sound melodious or ominous.

For the last month, my living arrangements in Kingston have been fluctuating weekly. To try to put it to rest, I’ve decided to take some time out later this week to fly to Kingston to find an apt. I’m going to head down on Thurs via Toronto, arriving on Fri and then leave town Tuesday morning. In between apt viewings, I’ll be studying for my big licensing exam on May 12th. Bleh. But I think I’ll feel TONS better once I’ve secured a place to land upon my arrival in early June.

Hopeful MD