'twas the night before...

• Rank day! That’s right, the deadline is tomorrow for the ranking of my various residency options to be in. I’ve had the list submitted for a couple of weeks now, rearranging #3 & #4 multiple times but otherwise not really changing anything. Although I’m convinced that I’ll make the best of whichever program (and city) I get, my #1 choice is…Queen’s Kingston.Sadly, Queen’s was also my worst interview - where I felt like I may have given them the impression that I’m “MBA girl”. It wasn’t awful but the attending physician who interviewed me would ask question and then immediately divert his eyes and look all around the room – anywhere but at me. I was left looking at the resident who was making good eye contact but I felt really strange about it. Then at the end of the interview, I didn’t commit to telling them that Queen’s was my #1 choice (I didn’t know that at the time) but rather that I had a spreadsheet with 30 criteria on it that I was using to evaluate each program and help make my decision. Turns out the attending physician’s Dad did his MBA at Ivey too and so he said to me, “Oh, that’s the MBA in you. Just make sure you listen to your gut.” Hmmm. I’m hoping he likes his Dad and therefore thinks people with MBA’s from Ivey ROCK!In fact, maybe we shine so brightly you occasionally have to look away. Yeah, no doubt that’s what was happening for him. He was blinded by the brilliance. Hee hee.

• My time here in Moncton doing palliative care has been good. I find these short little 2 week electives challenging though. By the time I get up and running, I have about 1 day of peak performance before it’s over, so most of the time I probably feel like a dead weight vs a help. I do love the work though. It’s so nice to feel like you’re really making a difference to patients and families by wrestling out-of-control symptoms like pain successfully and yet also spending time to talk about emotional issues. In palliative care, those things are not quickly shovelled under the rug but rather gently exposed to the light. In addition to the prescriptions for various drugs, caring words, sitting and talking (so there’s no impression of being in a rush), and even hugs are dispensed as part of the medicine. Being immersed in it once again has confirmed that it’s the kind of medicine I want to practice.
• While I’ve been here, patients, staff, everyone comments to me, “What brings you all the way out here from BC?”. I keep giving the answer of “Oh well, I’m from Newfoundland.” which is in no way an answer to their question, but somehow people seem to be satisfied with that response and that line of questioning ends there. It can be convenient to be “from” both coasts, that way I can say I’m from whichever one seems to be in my best interest in that moment.When I'm out west, I tell people I'm from Newfoundland if I want to actually have a chat vs shut one down because inevitably, people are fascinated by Newfoundlanders. Although they usually point out that I don't sound like I'm from Newfoundland, at which point I have to shed my 'townie' accent and pull out my best 'bay' slang. Either that or have a few drinks, which leads to the same result.
• The palliative team here, as every palliative team I’m come across so far, is lovely. My preceptor is kind, funny and talented, as are the clinical nurse manager, the pharmacist (in fact, she’s hilarious! She has me laughing out loud on a daily basis. She alone is almost worth coming to Moncton to train. Hmm, I forgot to include “sense of humour” in my criteria for residency.), and the spiritual care coordinator. They’ve been very nice to me and it’s been interesting to see yet another model of how palliative care can work/be coordinated in a smaller centre. Mornings in the hospital, afternoons doing home visits. It’s a shame that I can’t work with them for a bit longer, however, I am keen to get home to family & friends, the ocean, the cherry blossoms and the warm spring weather. Hmm, as I write that I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by not having BC making up every one of my top 5 choices! Oh well, it’s just 2 years.
• I’ll keep you posted. Remember the big day, D-day (decision day) is March 8^th.