Getting whipped into a frenzy

I realized this week (only when I actually said it out loud to someone) that I’ve identified the source of my recent anxiety. -->Me<-- This won’t come as a revelation to you, but for some reason, I had somehow forgotten that I am the one in control of how I perceive the things that happen to me. I’ve noticed that since the weekend (and coincidently since we started getting introduced to the plethora of muscles and bones in the human body) I’ve been feeling more and more…unsettled. While in part I think it’s due to feeling a little overwhelmed at the recent upsurge in information to memorize, I think it’s largely due to my sense of anticipation that this is just the tip of the iceberg. I realized that I’ve been mentally & emotionally arming myself for months against what I perceive is going to be a horrible couple of years coming up. And I have to say, imagining a terrible time is almost as bad as going through a terrible time. In fact, it may be worse because at least you know what’s making it terrible when you’re actually in it, whereas when you’re just anticipating, your imagination can run wild. It’s like the opposite of the thrill of anticipation of a trip or seeing a good friend. A former co-worker used to plan her trips months in advance and then savour every moment of that anticipation. Well, it’s been happening in reverse for me lately. Ugh. When I shared this thought the other night at a meeting with a group of female doctors, they were hopeful for me and cautiously optimistic that it wouldn’t be as bad as I think it will be. As one woman suggested, I can make it far less stressful by reframing my perspective about it TODAY. I know this. I know how much your mind and your thoughts affect your mood, your health, your reality. But for some reason recently, I forgot or forgot that applied to me too. I was really happy to have her remind me. Now I just have to get busy doing shifting things around in my brain so that it’s an “everything’s coming up roses” kinda place again. Wish me luck.