Family medicine – the hardest specialty?

• I love to ask the many physicians I come across to tell me how they got interested in their particular specialty. The stories this question elicits are great – often filled with lots of upheaval and false starts before they found their passion. Like the pathologist who wanted to be a family physician but couldn’t in the unstable environment in his home country in Africa so opted for pathology out of a shortlist that included ophthalmology and orthopedic surgery. Or the Obstetrician who trained in family medicine and then internal medicine before he found his true passion (due to his lack of enjoyment of working exclusively with sick, young or old people). So it’s not surprising that this indecision in career paths continues amongst current medical students. Many of my classmates are confused about which specialty is the one for them. It matters now because we need to line up our fall electives with an eye to receiving relevant reference letters for the next big application process that starts in the fall – for residency programs. A couple of people in my class that I really respect as being bright, hard workers (well, that kinda describes most everyone) have said to me recently that the scope of family medicine is so huge that it seems like an impossible area to practice in. I must say, when I hear people that I think of as bright(er) than me say that, it freaks me out a little. In fact, the reason the Obstetrician got out of family medicine was because he said that he’d see 45 people a day in his practice and out of that number, you can expect that two of them are seriously ill – but it’s hard to know if you caught the correct two. Do I think I’m the smartest person in the room? No. But I know that I crave variety in my days, in the patients (young/old, with all different personalities), in topics, and in activities and I see family medicine as the best route to the variety that I seek. And I think I have some good communication skills in my bag’o’tricks that should stand me in good stead beyond all the medical info I’m learning over these years. At least that’s what I’m thinking right now.

• The other thing I noticed is that I’m not the only one in my class that’s doubting her abilities. I spoke with a classmate that I think is incredibly smart the other day and he told me that he is humbled daily by the vast amount of knowledge we need to know and the small volume of it which has implanted itself in his brain. It’s hard to share these feelings sometimes to people outside of medicine, because you don’t want people to think you’re incompetent. I know that when people are doubtful of their own abilities, it can be hard to put your trust in them. But I also know that when you’re in the thick of the learning process it can be exhilarating, scary, interesting, embarrassing and all-consuming but rarely is it reassuring or ego-feeding. I’m hopeful that the slow but steady climb up the medical ladder will eventually reward me with a lovely view of all that I have accomplished and the knowledge I have attained. (And then promptly realize that I've just reached the "base camp" of medicine, a happy milestone but a long way to go to the top!) In the meantime, I’m buried in books learning about babies & ladies hoping to relax for a day after my next set of exams in 2 weeks. And then, will be a week dedicated to the eyeball. Eyeballs are the only thing that gross me out - did I mention that? Maybe I'll make an ode to the eyeball to help me cope. stay tuned...